You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2007.

I get a real kick of out stories like today’s piece on Idaho Sen. Larry Craig . When it comes to the question of civil rights for homosexuals, I believe they deserve the rights of normal human beings –because they are.

With that said, I get a real kick out of guys who make their careers out of railing against the “homosexual agenda” and end up being queerer than steers themselves. In fact, they’re often the epitome of the very negative stereotypes they rail against: they’re into kids (er… pages), anonymous sex in my local international airport (see above), having drug fueled parties with gay prostitutes, or soliciting kids off the internet.

That’s not to say being gay and Republican are automatically incompatible in the same way it isn’t incompatible to be black and Republican –it just involves strong criticism on certain portions of your party (like a lot of normal people in any political party –at least, if you have a conscience). One of my best professors in law school was a prominent “homocon” as they are sometimes called, and that basically made him a Libertarian Republican –he was a major supporter of Lawrence v. Texas, writing an amicus brief– but that didn’t prevent him from remaining a conservative on other issues.

So as for this Senator? Just another conflicted, closeted fag. Feel free to point and laugh, I am.

You gonna eat that?It’s true, the wunderkind of the neoconservative right wing is leaving the administration.

According to anonymous White House sources, Rove simply ran out of evil things to do. One high ranking official told the Outer-Loop, “When Karl resorted to kicking over lemonade stands in Mclean, we pretty much knew he was out of evil things to think up.”

Rove’s propensity for evil first came to light during George W. Bush’s 2000 Presidential campaign when Rove orchestrated an elaborate bait and switch operation whereby Bush campaign operatives replaced John McCain’s adorable white child with an illegitimate black one, Rove’s position within the new Administration was sealed.

Relations with the Vice President were rocky after Rove disagreed with Vice President Cheney’s insistent calls to drop a tactical warhead on Paris, followed by Cologne in an effort to cover up the musky smell of nuclear fallout. Despite this initial rift with a fellow administration official, Rove’s advice was used to cull support around the actual President’s policies well into 2006.

In all seriousness, Rove, who has by now outlived his usefulness and can no longer win elections, even amongst the stupidest Americans, was little more than a lightning rod for criticism within the administration…so this isn’t really a surprise. The White House simply waited for a slow news day so as not to satiate the snarling media.

The President is a lame duck, his administration has no positive domestic policy legacy to speak of, and Karl always left his lunch in the fridge, which really pissed everyone off.

Karl Rove, unemployed, whooptie-doo.

Riding the wave of popularity he’s receiving in Iowa, Mitt Romney sat down for an interview with WHO’s Jan Mickelson, whose parents obviously did not love him or his younger sister, Tyrone.

Anyway, Mickelson’s show is apparently quite influential in Iowa’s conservative circles and his show has been frequented by many of the other candidates running for the nomination, except for Giuliani who’s running for President of 9/11.

The interview, which you can see below in all of it’s youtube-ified glory, starts warmly. Romney catches a few softballs, drops the names of a couple of local restaurants that his personal assistants may or may not have briefed him on before hand, and basically pretends he isn’t a multi-millionaire liberal elitist Latter Day Douchebag. However, as the questions get dicier, Romney does something I never thought he was capable of…he counters with reasonable and well thought out positions on his faith and his personal social policy.

Check out the action below, it’s well worth a look.

The host, Elaine Mickelson, apparently felt slighted by Romney’s previously concealed testicles and leaked the video to the media insinuating that he had just orchestrated the downfall of Mitt Romney.

Instead, Mitt comes off as opinionated but reasonable, and he alludes to the inclusion of Democratic and left-leaning personal friends of his who are not only in the upper echelons of his typically conservative church, but who actively espouse domestic policy positions that differ from his own. In other words, as Dolores Mickelson continues to accuse Romney of forsaking his faith because of his previous (bullshit) positions on abortion rights, Romney says, almost verbatim, that pro-choice does not equal pro-abortion and that the Democrats in his church are no less moral and sincere than he is.

I know what you’re thinking, “But Romney isn’t sincere. He flip flops like a pair of Reefs, but without the beer bottle opener in the sole.”

Well you’re right, but this glimpse of a more reasonable human being is exactly what is missing from the rest of the GOP field. If I had to pick any Republican to run this country, and I say this with as much hesitant bile and tar as American grammar allows, I would feel better having Romney in the White House than any other GOP candidate in the field.

Well, only if Tyrone Mickelson didn’t want the job.

Thanks to The Politico for the tip.