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You gonna eat that?It’s true, the wunderkind of the neoconservative right wing is leaving the administration.

According to anonymous White House sources, Rove simply ran out of evil things to do. One high ranking official told the Outer-Loop, “When Karl resorted to kicking over lemonade stands in Mclean, we pretty much knew he was out of evil things to think up.”

Rove’s propensity for evil first came to light during George W. Bush’s 2000 Presidential campaign when Rove orchestrated an elaborate bait and switch operation whereby Bush campaign operatives replaced John McCain’s adorable white child with an illegitimate black one, Rove’s position within the new Administration was sealed.

Relations with the Vice President were rocky after Rove disagreed with Vice President Cheney’s insistent calls to drop a tactical warhead on Paris, followed by Cologne in an effort to cover up the musky smell of nuclear fallout. Despite this initial rift with a fellow administration official, Rove’s advice was used to cull support around the actual President’s policies well into 2006.

In all seriousness, Rove, who has by now outlived his usefulness and can no longer win elections, even amongst the stupidest Americans, was little more than a lightning rod for criticism within the administration…so this isn’t really a surprise. The White House simply waited for a slow news day so as not to satiate the snarling media.

The President is a lame duck, his administration has no positive domestic policy legacy to speak of, and Karl always left his lunch in the fridge, which really pissed everyone off.

Karl Rove, unemployed, whooptie-doo.

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