You are currently browsing the category archive for the ‘Fred Thompson’ category.

Well don't I look like a dick?According to the Politico, “potential” GOP Presidential candidate Fred Thompson flew to London today for the blessing of former Conservative Party leader and Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher in his bid to become the President of the United States of 1986.

I mean 2008, excuse me, I’m sorry.

Now any rational person would say something along the lines of “Why would a US candidate be looking for the endorsement of a former world leader who represents a party that has been out of power for more than a decade?” Well, rational person, Fred Thompson doesn’t care.

You see, Fred wants to pretend he’s Reagan, whose governing style was similar to Van Halen in that the leader did nothing except hog credit while the rest of the group went about ruining the country. This is a tactic Mr. Thompson is looking to emulate.

When Reagan ran for President, he had been a failed actor, the President of the Screen Actors Guild, and the Governor of the State of California. Mr. Thompson was a Senator from Tennessee who in his entire tenure did nothing to distinguish himself from his colleagues other than support McCain-Feingold, complain about how much work was involved in being a Senator, and marry a stripper.

Obviously, this man deserves to be President, especially since he’s already pretending to be the president.

When your only contribution to society is giving ugly men hope that they could marry pole dancers if they made enough money, the media deems you capable of running the country.

Back on track, Thompson will be having his picture taken with whatever is left of Lady Thatcher, and afterwards he’ll make out with David Cameron.

Of course, American conservatives should be furious that their golden boy feels the need to essentially ask permission from the former leader of another country before running for President, but of course they don’t care.

Liz Cheney, the well-known spawn of Beelzebub, and Mary “Botox” Matalin have also joined the Thompson campaign for some reason.

Image from


It’s official, well not really but almost…in a little over a month anyway.

Come hither gentlemenFred Thompson, a mediocre character actor from the state that brought us both Bill Frist AND Al Gore, has told insiders that he intends to officially announce his candidacy for the Republican presidential nomination on July Fourth aboard a red pickup truck. Sources say he will also have an eagle on his shoulder, a burning effigy of Osama bin Laden making out with Nancy Pelosi will be displayed behind him, and several other metaphorical symbols his campaign is keeping secret for the time being.

Sure, we’ve known this was going to happen sooner or later. Republicans have been saying for years that the Democrats have been bringing Hollywood values to Washington, except for Sonny Bono, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Ronald Reagan, and of course Fred Thompson. Mr. Thompson would bring his Presidential experience (via a demo reel) to the fold and make this race foam at the mouth.

That being said, the Republican race is now interesting again. All the indications point to a war of attrition between the 47 men running for the nod, and this may actually cause a vote to take place at the convention, which would be kind of cool.

Mitt Romney has executive experience, John McCain has foreign policy experience, and Giuliani has experience looking busy. Thompson has pretended to be Admirals, District Attorneys, hell, he even pretended to be President once on camera! Please, elect this guy!

In all seriousness, what does this mean for the race on both sides of the isle? Well, the GOP now has it’s proverbial pretty boy, someone with free media exposure who has had enough experience in Government to overstep Tancredo and Hunter, but doesn’t have enough to cause the scrutiny the current top three contenders have. He’s charismatic and folksy, but incredibly condescending at the same time and his radio hosting stints will provide the Democrats with more than enough ammo to pound him to the ground. His personal life is as contentious as Giuliani’s, and the enthusiasm around his campaign is similar to that of Ted Kennedy’s bid for the 1980 Democratic nomination.

In terms of fundraising, Thompson is relying on friends and associates, he doesn’t have the network of Mitt Romney, the suburban appeal of McCain, or the national admiration of Giuliani. His performance during the debates will be paramount, though his support from right wing media and the blogosphere will be fierce.

Let’s make something clear however, the Republicans still don’t have an Obama or an Edwards. There is no candidate that creates the ubiquitous excitement that Obama does for the Dems, and there is no candidate with an insurgent activist network as comprehensive as Edwards’. Democrats WANT to win this election, and the Republicans are projecting this as an uphill battle. They need to remember that there will eventually be a general election.

That being said, I’m still banking on Romney, I suppose we’ll see what happens.

Via The Politico.

Gay Photo by

WashPo is reporting that Fred Thompson is seriously, seriously, considering running for President because he’s totally serious about thinking it over seriously.

The only reason he’s even being considered is due to the utter lack of any compelling Republican candidate. GOP primary voters can choose between a liberal, thrice divorced 9/11 shilling moron, a 900-year-old kooky POW who almost flipped sides, or self-righteous Mormon dude with fantastic hair.

Part of Thompson’s allure is that hypocritical gene within thelooking1.jpg Republican genome that craves to have an actor return to the Oval Office. Conservatives were at their peak when Ronnie Reagan was at the helm, the man inspired an entire generation of youthful liberals to vote for him with nothing more than a homey grandpa-like swagger and two million gallons of Just for Men.

If he enters the race, and I’m pretty certain he will, the GOP primary could get a LOT more interesting.

As though the ’08 race could get anymore complicated, former Tennessee Senator and character actor Fred Thompson is reportedly considering a run for the White House. Thompson has a decent list of conservative credentials, most notably waging war with Sam Waterston’s pinko-liberal eyebrows on the hit NBC show.

Don't I look like Krang in this picture?As far as his acting career goes, Fred Thompson is known for playing the exact same character in every movie he has ever been in. A fat, aging, Suth-uhn gent who is apathetic with life unless someone’s doing some butt kicking.

I, for one, will never forget his harrowing performance in Iron Eagle III, where a heroic Sonny Chiba literally flew a World War II era Zero on a kamikaze mission to save the life of Louis Gossett, Jr. Fred Thompson wore a cowboy hat in that movie, and frankly that’s enough for me.

The idea of Fred Thompson as a viable candidate for President is unlikely, he’s been out of the political scene except for the occasional stump speech, fundraiser, or CIA leak investigation. He has a bit of flexibility to expel some talking points, yap about the usual Republican issues and carve himself a single digit percentage point in the northeastern primaries. He’d make a better veep, as the likely candidates are all either from the west or northeast, and all of them could use a relatively high profile, low controversy southern running mate.

We’ll stay on top of any potential developments and chime in with our usual snide insights should things come to light.

Add to Technorati Favorites