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Ahem.queenelizabeth.jpg

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is coming to America for the fif time to celebrate the 400th Anniversary of Jamestown…or at least that’s what the license plates in front of me at most red lights in Virginia say.

The trip will take her to the former colony, where she can watch paid white people dressed like complete idiots pick tobacco and completely gloss over a few, shall we say, historical labor disputes.

*Side note, that site I linked to above states:

“The first documented “20 and Odd” Blacks that arrived in Jamestown, Virginia in August of 1619 are not known to have been immediately enslaved. As an institution, slavery did not exist in Virginia in 1619.

This is immediately followed by:

“1619: Arrival of “20 and Odd” Blacks in late August of 1619 aboard a Dutch man of war. These blacks were sold/traded into servitude for supplies.”

Perhaps myself and the National Park Service have different definitions of what constitutes a slave…

Anyway, after her visit to this annoying school field trip magnet, Her Majesty is off to the Kentucky Derby, where she can do her part to help fight the war on terror by letting a few Saudi Princes try their hand at body shots. Oye, what a country!

After that, she’s off to the White House for dinner and awkward conversation with the President where the Queen and Barbara Bush will arm wrestle for the title of World’s Least Fragile Super-Rich Adorable Old Lady.