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I get a real kick of out stories like today’s piece on Idaho Sen. Larry Craig . When it comes to the question of civil rights for homosexuals, I believe they deserve the rights of normal human beings –because they are.

With that said, I get a real kick out of guys who make their careers out of railing against the “homosexual agenda” and end up being queerer than steers themselves. In fact, they’re often the epitome of the very negative stereotypes they rail against: they’re into kids (er… pages), anonymous sex in my local international airport (see above), having drug fueled parties with gay prostitutes, or soliciting kids off the internet.

That’s not to say being gay and Republican are automatically incompatible in the same way it isn’t incompatible to be black and Republican –it just involves strong criticism on certain portions of your party (like a lot of normal people in any political party –at least, if you have a conscience). One of my best professors in law school was a prominent “homocon” as they are sometimes called, and that basically made him a Libertarian Republican –he was a major supporter of Lawrence v. Texas, writing an amicus brief– but that didn’t prevent him from remaining a conservative on other issues.

So as for this Senator? Just another conflicted, closeted fag. Feel free to point and laugh, I am.


Riding the wave of popularity he’s receiving in Iowa, Mitt Romney sat down for an interview with WHO’s Jan Mickelson, whose parents obviously did not love him or his younger sister, Tyrone.

Anyway, Mickelson’s show is apparently quite influential in Iowa’s conservative circles and his show has been frequented by many of the other candidates running for the nomination, except for Giuliani who’s running for President of 9/11.

The interview, which you can see below in all of it’s youtube-ified glory, starts warmly. Romney catches a few softballs, drops the names of a couple of local restaurants that his personal assistants may or may not have briefed him on before hand, and basically pretends he isn’t a multi-millionaire liberal elitist Latter Day Douchebag. However, as the questions get dicier, Romney does something I never thought he was capable of…he counters with reasonable and well thought out positions on his faith and his personal social policy.

Check out the action below, it’s well worth a look.

The host, Elaine Mickelson, apparently felt slighted by Romney’s previously concealed testicles and leaked the video to the media insinuating that he had just orchestrated the downfall of Mitt Romney.

Instead, Mitt comes off as opinionated but reasonable, and he alludes to the inclusion of Democratic and left-leaning personal friends of his who are not only in the upper echelons of his typically conservative church, but who actively espouse domestic policy positions that differ from his own. In other words, as Dolores Mickelson continues to accuse Romney of forsaking his faith because of his previous (bullshit) positions on abortion rights, Romney says, almost verbatim, that pro-choice does not equal pro-abortion and that the Democrats in his church are no less moral and sincere than he is.

I know what you’re thinking, “But Romney isn’t sincere. He flip flops like a pair of Reefs, but without the beer bottle opener in the sole.”

Well you’re right, but this glimpse of a more reasonable human being is exactly what is missing from the rest of the GOP field. If I had to pick any Republican to run this country, and I say this with as much hesitant bile and tar as American grammar allows, I would feel better having Romney in the White House than any other GOP candidate in the field.

Well, only if Tyrone Mickelson didn’t want the job.

Thanks to The Politico for the tip.

At last night’s second GOP debate at the University of South Carolina, 37 white men promised America that they would torture the living daylights out of anyone who’s ever tasted falafel.

A nice taste of the culture of modern Republicanism can be had in the video below, a few key notes:

  • Brit Hume obviously watches a lot of 24.
  • Everyone in that room thought John McCain was a giant pussy.
  • Rudy Giuliani looks like a grandpa and likes to torture people on the side…maybe by suffocating “terrorists” with gallons of fixodent or whatever it is old people use to “aggressively interrogate” people.
  • Romney wants to franchise Guantanamo Bay.

Even more torturetastic action after the jump.

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At the beginning of the primary season, these mass debates mean very little in the grand scheme of things. They are essentially avenues to test the front runners, no news at the early debates is good news.Buncha Honkies

That being said, last night’s GOP debate was an excellent example of why the Republicans will lose the White House, on stage were ten (10!) white men who all disagreed with the President, yet were all pretending to like him in some form or another.

Who came out on top? That’s debatable, as each candidate had his own effective one-liner. Personally I think Mitt Romney came off as the most impressive, he looked the most Presidential and proved he has a certain optimistic stoicism that will serve him well on the campaign trail. As a Democrat, I find him reprehensible, self-serving, and insincere. But if I were a Republican, I’d probably go for him.*

More after the jump.

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After all is said and done, the Outer-Loop, while often being a gleeful agitator of libertarians in general and American libertarianism in particular, is a vocal supporter of the ideals of a true libertarian society.

I would love to have a safe country where everyone who tried could make money and personal responsibility was the rule and not the exception. Alas, I don’t think that’ll ever happen…but hey, I got my little capitalist fingers crossed!I just like this picture.

Reason magazine is – in my opinion – one of the best political sources around. Kudos to a publication that is so influential on American economic and political theory yet can successfully run ads for psychotropic liquor delivery without batting an eye. Ten points Reason, nothing but net.

Anyway, Reason Express editor Jeff Taylor wrote a fantastic piece on the war in Iraq that made a serious and essential distinction from the usual rhetoric coming from both sides.

“But the significant thing about these American successes is that they are American successes—Iraqis still play a supporting role in operations in a clash of all-ends against the middle fighting, where double-crossing and double-dealing is just part of the order of battle. That state of affairs might not matter for the long haul in Iraq if another 160,000 U.S. troops were in-bound, but they are not.

Neither does Iraq have its own functioning national army of 500,000 or so to even the score. Instead it has perhaps a handful of reliable brigades out of a population of 30 million. With such a paltry force, it is impossible to secure the country even with America’s complete and utter conventional military victory well in hand.

Contrary to the cliché, the peace has not been lost; there never was any peace in Iraq. Similarly, the Iraqis have not lost their country—it turns out there is no such thing as an Iraq to win.”

Democrats and Republicans alike continue to classify this war in terms of the archaic concepts of Victory vs Defeat. There is simply no such thing as either of them anymore. There is only compromise, we did it in the Cold War, in Vietnam, indeed, in every war since World War II.

There are no longer any winners or losers, there are only people who lost more and people who lost less.

So let’s get the hell out of Iraq and lose less.

A lot of fuss has been made about the dollar amounts the various candidates have announced this quarter.

Momma has her $26 million plus a $10 million surplus from her senate race. Although he hasn’t officially announced his earnings yet, Obama reportedly used his Diet Jesus skills to net some $21-23 million.

Edwards chimed in with roughly $14 million, while Richardson pulled in a not-too-shabby $6 million. Dodd swung $4 million, I guess being chair of the Senate Banking Committee helps, and Biden pulled a measly $2 million.

On the Republican side, the Stormin’ Mormon kicked major GOP ass with $22 million, Giuliani came in second with $14 million, and McCain lagged behind with a paltry $12.5 million considering he still thinks he’s the inevitable candidate.

The real winners here? At first glance you’d say Clinton and Romney, and you’d be half right.

Clinton was fully expected to rake in cash, and even this enormous number is not all that surprising, but the real star of the Democrats is a Mr. Obama, who managed to net a larger donation base, with over 80,000 donors, than Clinton and her 50,000. Most of Obama’s donors obviously did not contribute the maximum, which means Obama has an entire mailing list of donors who are legally capable of donating more money and who have been willing to do so in the past.

On the GOP side, Romney is the clear winner here. Considering the man lacks any real name recognition outside of Massachusetts and Utah he has managed to propel his campaign to the top of the financial totem pole with his rolodex alone. Whether he has staying power remains to be seen…

Another interesting point to make is that, despite these numbers being record shattering in and of themselves, what is most interesting are the disparity between the Democratic and Republican candidates. Romney beat out every other Republican candidate, yet tied Obama in terms of funds. Even Biden and his 2 mil beat out all of the other 2nd and 3rd tier GOP candidates by leaps and bounds. Huckabee managed a pitiful $500,000.

Now lets see what things look like this summer when the second quarter results are due.

WashPo is reporting that Fred Thompson is seriously, seriously, considering running for President because he’s totally serious about thinking it over seriously.

The only reason he’s even being considered is due to the utter lack of any compelling Republican candidate. GOP primary voters can choose between a liberal, thrice divorced 9/11 shilling moron, a 900-year-old kooky POW who almost flipped sides, or self-righteous Mormon dude with fantastic hair.

Part of Thompson’s allure is that hypocritical gene within thelooking1.jpg Republican genome that craves to have an actor return to the Oval Office. Conservatives were at their peak when Ronnie Reagan was at the helm, the man inspired an entire generation of youthful liberals to vote for him with nothing more than a homey grandpa-like swagger and two million gallons of Just for Men.

If he enters the race, and I’m pretty certain he will, the GOP primary could get a LOT more interesting.

Read any political blog or newspaper column and you’ll see authoritative analysis of each of the major candidates for the Presidency in 2008.

At The OuterLoop, we understand just how ridiculous any sort of analysis is.  We see the shallow attempts at gaining legitimacy that these publications and writers seek.  We sneer at their pompous sense of self importance…the presumptiveness (my own word dammit) of their self fabricated media identities clamoring for a piece of the spotlight for one fleeting moment before being buried in obscurity and succumbing to the beckoning depths of Google’s search results.

That’s why The OuterLoop is doing its own analysis.  Not because we’re hypocrites (we are), and not because we like typing in the first-person plural despite having, as of press time, only one contributor to this blog, but because we thought it would be fun to shed all of the speculation about each candidate and pigeonhole him or her into a category consisting of 1 (one) loosely connected word (palabra), a tactic that is patently unfair but much more fun than writing about their policy initiatives.  Here goes:

The Republicans:

Rudy Giuliani: Abortionist
John McCain: WALNUTS!
Mitt Romney: Hanes
Sam Brownback: Backwards
Mike Huckabee: Eat Fresh
Duncan Hunter: Dukestir’s BFF
Tommy Thompson: Totally
Tom Tancredo: Look-alike
Newt Gingrich: Bookworm
Jim Gilmore: Exciting?
Chuck Hagel: Rude

The Democrats:

Hillary Clinton: Bangs
Barrack Obama: Black?
John Edwards: Fag
Bill Richardson: Que Rico!
Dennis Kucinich: Shorty
Chris Dodd: Pssh
Joe Biden: Ctrl/Command-C

Enjoy.  Have a happy Tuesday!

As though the ’08 race could get anymore complicated, former Tennessee Senator and character actor Fred Thompson is reportedly considering a run for the White House. Thompson has a decent list of conservative credentials, most notably waging war with Sam Waterston’s pinko-liberal eyebrows on the hit NBC show.

Don't I look like Krang in this picture?As far as his acting career goes, Fred Thompson is known for playing the exact same character in every movie he has ever been in. A fat, aging, Suth-uhn gent who is apathetic with life unless someone’s doing some butt kicking.

I, for one, will never forget his harrowing performance in Iron Eagle III, where a heroic Sonny Chiba literally flew a World War II era Zero on a kamikaze mission to save the life of Louis Gossett, Jr. Fred Thompson wore a cowboy hat in that movie, and frankly that’s enough for me.

The idea of Fred Thompson as a viable candidate for President is unlikely, he’s been out of the political scene except for the occasional stump speech, fundraiser, or CIA leak investigation. He has a bit of flexibility to expel some talking points, yap about the usual Republican issues and carve himself a single digit percentage point in the northeastern primaries. He’d make a better veep, as the likely candidates are all either from the west or northeast, and all of them could use a relatively high profile, low controversy southern running mate.

We’ll stay on top of any potential developments and chime in with our usual snide insights should things come to light.

Good morning ladies and gents, after a lovely weekend cavorting around the District I’ve come back energized, rested, and less hungover than I was Sunday morning after Saturday’s Shamrock Fest at RFK.

Aspirin is my friend.

Anyhoo, today is the day that a certain “maverick” Senator from a certain “state” called Nebraska might declare is “intention” to run for the Presidency of “the” United States. Hagel would jump in as either the anti-war Republican candidate or as an independent.

His stance as the lone anti-Iraq war gunman on the Righty side of the isle has infuriated his colleagues in the GOP and has given him an immense amount of appeal on the left…who are way too lazy to look at his very Republican voting record.

The OuterLoop will keep you posted throughout the day on whether or not Hagel decides to lose the Presidency.

UPDATE: 11:37 AM, Hagel says he will decide on a Presidential run later this year…proves that no one can get anything done over the weekend.

UPDATE 2.0:  For some reason, I accidentally added an “Al Sharpton” tag to this post.  I intend to leave it there just to screw with people.

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